Thursday, April 03, 2008

It's 3am and there's a crisis somewhere in the world

If you follow US politics then you'll know that Hillary Clinton has a couple of ads that start with a 3am phone call to the Whitehouse. The first ad was intended as a slam against Barack Obama implying that he didn't have the experience to deal with such a crisis. The second is going up against John McCain claiming he doesn't want to do anything about the housing finance problem in the US.

You know if it's 3am and there's a crisis in the world there's only one place and only one man to call.

CTU and Jack Bauer.

First of all, he's already up. 3am is nothing to Jack. Hillary and McCain both look like they could use the sleep and Obama looks like he gets his beauty sleep every night. So, Jack's ready to go before any of them.

As much as you might think Obama is David Palmer (safe pair of hands), he's more like a Wayne Palmer (a slick little fighter) and you know what that means: gets blown up within five minutes of being president and then pops a brain vein and the evil VP has to take over. The only good thing to say about Obama is that he would call Jack.

Now, McCain might look like a Bauer type with his military background and heroic time spent as a PoW. But here's the difference. McCain was 5 years as a PoW, no one came to get him out so he can't be that valuable. Also, if Jack had been held hostage in North Vietnam for 5 years there wouldn't be a North Vietnam now. Because you can bet the life of the next random CTU cast member the Jack would have (a) escaped and (b) annihilated everyone involved.

So, that leaves Hillary. She can't tell sniper fire from a little girl with flowers. In fact she reminds me more and more of the evil Vice Presidents that pop up in every 24 trying to take power from the real president. Hell, she's probably even got backing from Phillip Bauer.

Only one word of warning: make sure it's a man that calls Jack. If it's a woman he's bound to have been involved with her, she'll turn out to be a double agent or her father will be evil, and Jack'll be distracted.

If it has to be a woman, make sure it's Chloe.

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